Yesterday's quirks

Yesterday I had two funnies:

One elderly patient who had had some premed came out with "this couple get married and on their wedding night he says 'I'm sorry but I'm built like a baby done there'. She says 'don't worry, we'll get through it'. He drops his trousers, she screams and runs out! She returns trembling and says 'I thought you were built like a baby?' He replies 'yes, 7 pounds and 22 inches long'!

Later in the day we found that a gentleman booked for an ENT case would not get done for a lack of surgeon. We rang down later to make sure the surgeons had told the ward. In the background I hear the fire alarm! The support worker tells me someone burnt some toast. Could I speak more loudly please? I said 'YES! HAVE YOU FED MR. X?' She says 'it was his toast'!

Ace.
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